fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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