I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
