I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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