I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
