I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
