My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just found puke in my bra..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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