You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
