Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
