And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
