how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
