Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
