I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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