What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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