Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
