i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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