Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
