checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
