At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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