I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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