guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize