i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize