I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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