Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
