I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
