fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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