I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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