just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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