i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this boner is exhausting
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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