ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
