I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We left an ass print on the piano.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
