Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it's great music for shaving your balls
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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