I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??