My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas