mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?