After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great