By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.