I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
