wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize
