i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
