I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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