well you can't waste a boner
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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