Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize