I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
