i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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