Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
