you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
