you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize