no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
