what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
