And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
