I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
