your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
