How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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