I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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