I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize