he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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