Me. At least after what I've been through.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
