but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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