I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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