i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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